Archive for the ‘Science’ Category

This Is How The Robot Apocalypse Starts…

In Science, Technology on July 8, 2009 at 1:29 pm

… With innocent looking garbage collectors with soulless eyes and little bug-bots that crawl through your veins looking for artery blockage and cancer. At least that’s what they’ll say until the trash-bot starts eating grannies and the little bug-bot embeds itself into people’s brains.

I’m only joking. They’re just robots, lead entirely by a human behind some sort of navigation device. They haven’t quite discovered the finer details of the A.I. that will threaten the human race.


Everything’s Better When It Glows In The Dark!

In Health, Science on April 4, 2009 at 5:19 pm

Brain cancer likes albumin- a blood protein- so scientists find a way to make the albumin fluorescent: helping brain surgeons pin-point exactly where the cancer is. I think this is the medical version of a Trojan Horse or something.

Obviously, This One’s From Krypton! Someone Buy Him a Cape, Please

In People, Science on April 4, 2009 at 5:02 pm

Super-strong adopted baby has “myostatin-related muscle hypertrophy”.

Pfft. I don’t know who they’re trying to fool. That’s a little Kryptonian right there! I’d like to ask the parents to raise him to be an upstanding citizen, and feed him lots of corn. Maybe move to a remote part of Kansas if they can. Oh, and keep him away from shiny, green rocks.


In Food, Science on April 4, 2009 at 4:14 pm

A new study suggests that chocolate improvesĀ  mental arithmetic ability.

LIES. Such lies these scientists tell us these days! If this was true I’d be a member of the Mathletes or something!

By The Time SETI Contacts Daxam or New Genesis, I Won’t Be Beautiful Anymore

In Science on April 4, 2009 at 3:42 pm

SETI is confident we’ll contact Extra Terrestrials within two decades. This is too long. If my plan to convince them to take me off this backwater planet is to succeed, I’ll need to be young and looking my best. Nobody wants beef if they can have veal!

But all joking aside- this isn’t anything to get too excited over. It’s two decades until the possibility of SETI finding something. And even if we do ‘contact’ Extra Terrestrials- then what? You can bet they won’t understand any language on Earth and vice versa.

The Men On Mars, Coming 2030

In Science on April 2, 2009 at 4:49 pm

Russian officials say a trip to Mars would take at least 500 days, subject astronauts to huge doses of radiation, require a spaceship three times the size of the International Space Station (ISS), and cost a pants-shittingly large sum of money. With today’s capabilities, we’d have to wait until 2030 to see it happen.

So the estimated date of the voyage will be sooner in a few years, probably.

Well, It’s Not Alien Contact, But It’s Something…

In Science on April 1, 2009 at 3:49 pm

We (humans) now have the technological capabilities to find other ‘Earths’- planets like ours that are capable of, theoretically, supporting life. The problem with this, of course, is that if science fiction is to be believed, there may be aliens lifeforms that can survive in extreme climates, like extremophiles on Earth.

No, it’s not ridiculous. Please bear in mind that many wonderful things like the Internet made their debut in science fiction literature.

For The Chav Who Dreams Of Going Into Orbit

In Food, Science, World News on March 28, 2009 at 10:39 pm

Indian military scientists want to create curry that is edible in space. Basically, India is in a space race with China and Japan, and they want to feed the astronaut something that’s familiar.

That’s all you need to know, really. Other than that I think this is quite awesome.

Science Prevails, Bitch!

In Religion, Science, World News on March 27, 2009 at 4:50 pm

Creationists lose battle to trivialise the Theory of Evolution in schools. But still, a 50-50 vote is pretty pathetic.