Archive for April, 2009|Monthly archive page

This News Requires A Happy Dance

In Film on April 24, 2009 at 7:53 pm

No link today. I’m just gloating.

You see, America may get all the new music and movies first most of the time, but the U.K. will be getting X-Men Origins: Wolverine before they do.

This makes me immensely happy. I will be pre-booking my ticket and racing to the cinema as soon as school is over on Wednesday.

I’ll tell you all about it.


Like A Dying Animal

In Celebrities, Music on April 22, 2009 at 4:13 pm

This is Beyonce. I know. It really picks up at just before a sixth of the way through (I’d give you a time, but it doesn’t have one). This was just hilarious enough to get me out of my funk.

Thank you, Beyonce, for sucking so much. I always knew you did, but it gives me great pleasure to know that you’ve been exposed.

Also, Howard Stern is being named Hero of the Day. He deserves the honour.

EDIT: It’s a fake. Millions are disappointed across the world. Howard Stern is no longer Hero of the Day.

Regardless, it is still hilarious.

Methinks Someone Is Into Comic Books

In Celebrities, Comic Books, Film on April 11, 2009 at 2:14 pm

And that someone is Megan Fox. She may be playing the fabulous Jennifer Walters in the new She-Hulk movie (awesome). She’s also set to play Aspen in the Fathom movie (more awesome). She’s currently filming in the Jonah Hex movie (squee). And then there’s her ongoing role in the Transformers movies…

This is one of many reasons why she is so insanely hot.

Zac Efron, Why Must You Be So Hot? And I Can’t Believe I Just Wrote That

In Celebrities, Film on April 11, 2009 at 1:57 pm

17 Again receives an average of 6.2/10 from Rotten Tomatoes.

I’d just like to make some things clear: 1) I HAVE NEVER WATCHED HIGH SCHOOL MUSICAL AND I NEVER, EVER, WILL. 2) I think Zac Efron is so very pretty. 3) Admitting to #2 makes me feel compelled to commit seppuku.

So… Ugh- I am actually having a hard time writing this. My brain knows it’s wrong.

I went to see the film yesterday with my friends (I couldn’t muster up enough courage to go alone) and at the end, I was asked why I wanted to see it/why was I cringing so badly now that the lights were back on. I physically could not finish the sentence: “I like Zac Efron.”

It came out sorta like this: “I like Zac Efra-Eflo-Efruuhh- Zac Efuck it, I can’t even say it right.”

Anyway, I am literally twitching as I write this so I’ll make it quick: I liked the movie, I will be buying the DVD, I would recommend going to watch it. That is all. Leave me alone. No, I am not going to watch it again. I won’t!

The Evolution Of Suck

In Film on April 11, 2009 at 1:42 pm

Dragonball: Evolution receives 3.7/10 from Rotten Tomatoes. This is so generous it’s disgusting.

It sucked. It sucked. It sucked. I wasn’t expecting much from it, but damn, that was a whole lot of suck. My biggest problem with it isn’t even the storyline. It’s the acting. The insincerity in the acting! I was cringing, pretty much the whole time.

It didn’t help that I’d watched Monsters vs. Aliens the day before. The special effects couldn’t match up to a 3D kids’ movie that was not made by Pixar. And James Marsters has said that he’s signed on for like, 3 films. Hollywood have mercy.

I loved Monsters vs. Aliens BTW. It got an average of 6.5/10 on Rotten Tomatoes, but I give it a ‘funny & cute’.

This Is Turning Out Suspiciously Like DC’s ‘Darkest Night’ Series…

In Comic Books on April 4, 2009 at 9:18 pm

But who the fuck cares- it’s Captain America! The Steve Rogers version! The best version! Though in all honestly, all the black would suggest something like an evil clone or dark magic, a lot of typical Marvel fan torture and then Steve Rogers appearing deus ex machina style in the last two issues or something, giving Iron Man a heart attack and causing a few volumes of angst for the newly resurrected Cap.

You know it will happen.

But seriously, Marvel, what the fuck, you cannot just give us a fucking star and a date– even DC’s done better than that! Everyone knows what that star means, so there’s no mystery, and everyone knows that July is 87 days away and no, I’m not counting, shut up, so all this is going to do is drive me up the wall  while waiting. But I won’t mind because any Steve Rogers is better than no Steve Rogers.

Also, a little more effort with the art wouldn’t have been a bad thing.

Everything’s Better When It Glows In The Dark!

In Health, Science on April 4, 2009 at 5:19 pm

Brain cancer likes albumin- a blood protein- so scientists find a way to make the albumin fluorescent: helping brain surgeons pin-point exactly where the cancer is. I think this is the medical version of a Trojan Horse or something.

Fox Is Being Stupid Again

In Film on April 4, 2009 at 5:09 pm

The studio doesn’t want to supply theatres with 3D glasses for their new film Ice Age: Dawn of the Dinosaurs– says they have to pay for them. Theatres say: “Fuck you, 2D’s fine.”

Obviously, This One’s From Krypton! Someone Buy Him a Cape, Please

In People, Science on April 4, 2009 at 5:02 pm

Super-strong adopted baby has “myostatin-related muscle hypertrophy”.

Pfft. I don’t know who they’re trying to fool. That’s a little Kryptonian right there! I’d like to ask the parents to raise him to be an upstanding citizen, and feed him lots of corn. Maybe move to a remote part of Kansas if they can. Oh, and keep him away from shiny, green rocks.

America: Taking Your Freedom, One Medium At A Time!

In Internet, World News on April 4, 2009 at 4:53 pm

The Cybersecurity Act of 2009 could grant the President the power to shut down Internet networks. Have a quote from the article:

That’s it folks! The last medium granting almost absolute freedom of expression- compromised! Sorry, this has just made me temporarily incoherent. I can barely keep my spelling and grammar in check. I’m going to go find something else to write about before I smash my keyboard.