Ryan Reynolds Is Hal Jordan. Feel My Excitement.

Ryan Reynolds has been cast as Hal Jordan in the new Green Lantern movie. I understand that he’s becoming more popular but… meh. He’s so very, very meh. He just doesn’t feel like Hal Jordan. There’s something in the shape of his head (and how it looks disproportionately big on his body) that has never sat well with me.

Bradley Cooper, Jared Leto and Justin Timberlake also did screen tests for the movie but Reynolds ultimately got the role. And again, none of them particularly feels like Hal Jordan and they don’t really look like any of his comic or cartoon incarnations, do they?

This casting is puzzling.

And On The Subject Of The Imminent Robot Apocalypse…

I’d like to talk about Christian Bale and his role in recent movies, such as Terminator Salvation and Public Enemies. I’d like to talk about how I’m getting tired of Christian Bale playing shouting assholes.

Honestly, it got annoying after Batman Begins. I’m sure I’m not the only one that feels this way. But he’s always playing a shouting asshole, and as a result, becoming second rate in a film where he has the starring role.

The best example for this is The Dark Knight. Shit, does anyone actually remember Batman from that movie? Because I have trouble recalling.

And it’s not that I completely forget he’s there- it’s that he becomes so insignificant that I don’t care that Christian Bale is there- shouting while wearing a bat suit. If I wanted to see Christian Bale shouting, I would watch his brilliant rendition of Patrick Bateman in American Psycho– where he shouts while he’s naked, covered in blood and holding a chainsaw- from way back when Christian Bale was enjoyable to watch on the big screen.

You see the same thing in Terminator Salvation. Who gives a shit about John Connor? Nobody gives a shit about John Connor! You want him to die at the end. Why? Because it’s a good way to go and oh the possibilities if the writers would just try… And because you don’t give a shit about John Connor anymore– Marcus Wright’s where it’s at.

Seriously, I couldn’t be the only one thinking it would be better if John Connor just died. Leaving Sam Worthington a spot in the next rumoured Terminator movie alongside Moon Awesome Name Bloodgood.

I mean, we had a brief reprieve in Public Enemies where he plays a silent asshole but that film is so horrifically bland that I just refuse to count it as any sort of difference in his acting. But to his credit, he is only an actor- I’ll lay the blame for Public Enemies on the directing and the screenplay. Ugh.

I don’t even know how he can redeem himself. Every time I imagine Christian Bale in a movie, he’s always shouting. He’s become permanently stereotyped in my head.

Currently, he seems to be working on some sort of boxer movie and a vengeful father of some sort in another Crime/Drama/Thriller.  Also looking to be in the works are: another Batman movie, the previously mentioned Terminator movie and the m0vie adaptation of the book Killing Pablo, which details the capture of a Colombian drug lord. Much like Public Enemies, Bale seems to be playing the man responsible for catching the criminal.

My, what a surprise.

An Accurate Summary of X-Men Origins: Wolverine

It’s highly recommended.

Keanu Reeves Set To Destroy Another Classic With His Non-Expressionism

Keanu Reeves seems to have taken the role of Dr. Jekyll in Jekyll, the ‘modern retelling of The Strange Case of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde‘.

On the one hand, maybe portraying a split personality, especially one that is batshit insane, will finally allow Reeves’ face to be graced with some sort of expression. Or on the other hand, you know, not.

What do you think? Can this be salvaged/Will it be any good? Do we boycott or riot?

Sabretooth One-Ups Wolverine. Again

Despite X-Men Origins: Wolverine being Rotten, I think that Liev Schreiber deserves a round of applause.

Did anyone else feel this way? I thought Wolverine was entertaining but with a bad script and very, very average acting, but I thought that Schreiber totally outshone Jackman. Because, as dedicated as Hugh Jackman is to the role and as much as he looks like Wolverine… he doesn’t understand who Wolverine actually is. What Jackman’s basically been doing is reading lines written for the actor playing Wolverine. He doesn’t actually seem to know the character all that well.

You can tell because while people thought he was awesome in the X-Men Trilogy… what exactly did he do in those movies? He fought. A lot. But he didn’t really have many lines- he didn’t necessarily have to build a character. That’s what he needed to do in this one but he came up short when the focus was solely on his character.

But Liev Schreiber was brilliant. My Cinema Buddy (Anti-Trekkie BFF) and I said from the get go that he just didn’t look like Sabretooth, he didn’t look like he could pull it off. But he did. And it was good.

Ryan Reynolds deserves a heads-up too, I think. He had quite a minor role as far as acting goes. But I think he understood Deadpool’s brand of insanity and charm. I’m totally looking forward to his movie.

Taylor Kitsch actually disappointed me. I didn’t know much about him, but he sorta looked like Gambit and I was excited to see him in action. Seeing as I am a girl and, unsurprisingly, Gambit is probably my favourite mutant (being tied with Magneto and Icarus (do NOT ask) I was let down by his lack of ability. The accent wasn’t right and he… he just wasn’t Gambit. If he reprises his role for Gambit’s rumoured feature film, I hope he does better.

Anyway. I liked the film. But a lot of it was just a solid ‘Meh’ for me.

P.S. What the hell was up with Wolverine’s hair? It had a life of it’s own and it was on its way to filming a Pantene commercial.

It Seems That I Am A Third Generation Trekkie

Star Trek basically wins. I just watched it. I can confirm this.

Now, if you’ll give me a moment, I need to gush about how incredibly hot Chris Pine was. If you see a lot of girls going to see Star Trek… he may be a factor. It was simply amazing- the guy playing his dad was hot too. But seriously; he’s made me like Star Trek (I’ll see how long I can hold off before I start drowning myself under Star Trek episodes) and if the Green Lantern thing goes through and he plays Hal Jordan? Well, he’ll pretty much own me forever.

Okay, done gushing. I would highly recommend going to see it- whether you’re a fan or not (I wasn’t). While I’ll agree with my Anti-Trekkie BFF and say that the film wasn’t completely amazing, it was worth the money and the time and the hotness. And I’m hoping the DVD will have some more scenes and stuff that I felt were missing from the movie.

Lord of the Rings Always Did Well In The Movie Department

The Lord of the Rings fan film, The Hunt For Gollum, will be released on the internet on Sunday 3rd May at 16:00 GMT.

I’ve watched both trailers and it looks very cool. If you don’t know, The Hunt For Gollum is based on the appendices of The Lord of the Rings. The film follows Aragorn II as he searches for Gollum to find out the secrets of the ring in order to help protect the next Ringbearer. The lead isn’t any Viggo Mortensen, but he’s pretty hot.

There’s also another LotR fan film currently being filmed, it’s called Born of Hope and it’s set to be released sometime this Autumn. Born of Hope follows the story of Aragorn II’s parents; Arathorn II and Gilraen. To watch the trailer go here.

Entirely Willing To Sacrifice My First Born To Michael Bay, And Then Some

If you have not seen the new Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen trailer you need to go see it right fucking NOW.

Have you seen anything more beautiful? N/N? I understand completely.

Michael Bay is Hero of the DayYEAR. And will thus have his own tag. Because he is so excruciatingly awesome.

This News Requires A Happy Dance

No link today. I’m just gloating.

You see, America may get all the new music and movies first most of the time, but the U.K. will be getting X-Men Origins: Wolverine before they do.

This makes me immensely happy. I will be pre-booking my ticket and racing to the cinema as soon as school is over on Wednesday.

I’ll tell you all about it.

Methinks Someone Is Into Comic Books

And that someone is Megan Fox. She may be playing the fabulous Jennifer Walters in the new She-Hulk movie (awesome). She’s also set to play Aspen in the Fathom movie (more awesome). She’s currently filming in the Jonah Hex movie (squee). And then there’s her ongoing role in the Transformers movies…

This is one of many reasons why she is so insanely hot.