Archive for July, 2009|Monthly archive page

Ryan Reynolds Is Hal Jordan. Feel My Excitement.

In Celebrities, Film on July 11, 2009 at 10:23 pm

Ryan Reynolds has been cast as Hal Jordan in the new Green Lantern movie. I understand that he’s becoming more popular but… meh. He’s so very, very meh. He just doesn’t feel like Hal Jordan. There’s something in the shape of his head (and how it looks disproportionately big on his body) that has never sat well with me.

Bradley Cooper, Jared Leto and Justin Timberlake also did screen tests for the movie but Reynolds ultimately got the role. And again, none of them particularly feels like Hal Jordan and they don’t really look like any of his comic or cartoon incarnations, do they?

This casting is puzzling.


I Hope That Coroner’s Office Has A Safe

In Uncategorized on July 8, 2009 at 9:45 pm

Because they have Michael Jackson’s brain and everyone from crazy fans to crazy scientists will want it.

It’s standard procedure- they need to wait for the brain to harden before performing more tests to figure out just why Michael Jackson went into cardiac arrest.

But in the meantime. Somewhere in LA, Michael Jackson’s brain rests in a jar, just waiting for an oportunist psycho to grab it.

Now, I loved, and will always love, Michael Jackson, and I feel so bad for his cute kids, and I don’t mean to disrespect the dead but… I really want someone to snatch that brain. For it to mysteriously vanish- never to be seen again.

Also: to Mr. Josh Grossberg, excellent choice of title. Excellent, I say.

Pick And Choose: Nazi Overlord With Advanced Technology Or What We Have Right Now

In History, Technology on July 8, 2009 at 2:56 pm

It turns out that the Nazis had the same technology used in the B-2 Spirit Stealth Bomber more than 30 years before the Americans started developing it. The Horten Ho 2-29 has been recently reconstructed using blueprints and the only remaining prototype from 1944- one of only 3 prototypes. The replica can’t fly but the technology works.

The plane, back in 1944, had working radar-invisible technology. It’s also quite a bit smaller than the B-2.

Stories like this are interesting, because if you put things in perspective: Hitler could have very well ruled the world with his superior technology. During World War II, Germany had some of the most advanced weaponry- a lot of which is used today, and if Hitler had sought out economic domination instead of declaring war, he may have been ruling the world today… or his successor would have; he’d probably be dead by now, either way.

EDIT: This site has a load of great pictures of the Horten Ho 2-29 from when it was still in development and of the new replica.

And On The Subject Of The Imminent Robot Apocalypse…

In Celebrities, Film on July 8, 2009 at 2:07 pm

I’d like to talk about Christian Bale and his role in recent movies, such as Terminator Salvation and Public Enemies. I’d like to talk about how I’m getting tired of Christian Bale playing shouting assholes.

Honestly, it got annoying after Batman Begins. I’m sure I’m not the only one that feels this way. But he’s always playing a shouting asshole, and as a result, becoming second rate in a film where he has the starring role.

The best example for this is The Dark Knight. Shit, does anyone actually remember Batman from that movie? Because I have trouble recalling.

And it’s not that I completely forget he’s there- it’s that he becomes so insignificant that I don’t care that Christian Bale is there- shouting while wearing a bat suit. If I wanted to see Christian Bale shouting, I would watch his brilliant rendition of Patrick Bateman in American Psycho– where he shouts while he’s naked, covered in blood and holding a chainsaw- from way back when Christian Bale was enjoyable to watch on the big screen.

You see the same thing in Terminator Salvation. Who gives a shit about John Connor? Nobody gives a shit about John Connor! You want him to die at the end. Why? Because it’s a good way to go and oh the possibilities if the writers would just try… And because you don’t give a shit about John Connor anymore– Marcus Wright’s where it’s at.

Seriously, I couldn’t be the only one thinking it would be better if John Connor just died. Leaving Sam Worthington a spot in the next rumoured Terminator movie alongside Moon Awesome Name Bloodgood.

I mean, we had a brief reprieve in Public Enemies where he plays a silent asshole but that film is so horrifically bland that I just refuse to count it as any sort of difference in his acting. But to his credit, he is only an actor- I’ll lay the blame for Public Enemies on the directing and the screenplay. Ugh.

I don’t even know how he can redeem himself. Every time I imagine Christian Bale in a movie, he’s always shouting. He’s become permanently stereotyped in my head.

Currently, he seems to be working on some sort of boxer movie and a vengeful father of some sort in another Crime/Drama/Thriller.  Also looking to be in the works are: another Batman movie, the previously mentioned Terminator movie and the m0vie adaptation of the book Killing Pablo, which details the capture of a Colombian drug lord. Much like Public Enemies, Bale seems to be playing the man responsible for catching the criminal.

My, what a surprise.

This Is How The Robot Apocalypse Starts…

In Science, Technology on July 8, 2009 at 1:29 pm

… With innocent looking garbage collectors with soulless eyes and little bug-bots that crawl through your veins looking for artery blockage and cancer. At least that’s what they’ll say until the trash-bot starts eating grannies and the little bug-bot embeds itself into people’s brains.

I’m only joking. They’re just robots, lead entirely by a human behind some sort of navigation device. They haven’t quite discovered the finer details of the A.I. that will threaten the human race.

This is your Lady and Mistress… Again

In Uncategorized on July 8, 2009 at 12:39 pm

Well, I haven’t been here in a while, have I? And I do regret it- so much has happened! But things like my life got in the way.

But I’m back to working on this blog effective immediately.